Year End...

Today, last day of work for the year 2007... Very happy, very excited but also very tired, very sleepy and also mixed feeling of sad too... Didn't really accomplish anything this year... In another way it means that I didn't do anything... Although there's ups and downs in my life... Some could be very sour but thank God that most of it is sweet... Really changed my life, my attitude, my character and my thinking... Facing things all around me that is not easy, help me to be more wise, more knowledgeable and also learn to depend on God even more...

Hopefully this coming year will make me a better man that God wants me to be... =)

The day after Christmas...

This year Christmas was kinda uneventful for me... Basically I fall sick and did nothing but lazing around... It's kinda make me more tired and sleepy after taking the medicine... Like my body is getting more and more weaker... Just another like another day for me... It's nothing special... Though many people always say that christmas was the day when Christ was born into this world and we should make this day memorable where gifts are given to one another... But deep inside my heart, tells me that Christmas is all in the heart... No matter when and where, Christ will always be in your heart... Remember Christ not only during Christmas but for the rest of the 364 days too...

At first, I just don't wanna think of anything nor accept anything at all... But God always have a way to let you to listen to Him, listen to His still, warm voice... Which you will never forget about Him... In my own body, I'm weak and sinful... I'm nothing if I haven't had Christ in my heart... Knowing that I will still sin no matter what may come and try to stop me but I'll still do it... Wanting to do the things that my body is longing but my heart is not... It's just not easy to be a human being... At times, I even questioned God; why do you let us come into the world and be condemned?? Some of us might try so hard to be saved, but couldn't... Some of us just live our lives as who we are in the world... Some of us just don't care who is God... How can the world be saved?? There are so many people perished in the past which is already writen in the bible... How could I be saved if I still find it hard to do what pleases God... In my heart, I keep thinking that doing my best just isn't the answer... Been wanting to serve God, but still walking in the dark... How ironic could it be?? Couldn't even imagine that I could be in heaven... All I can think of is how sinful I am, and how unworthy I am to be the Child of God... I am so ashamed of Christ which I just couldn't stand up for Him... I have become part of the world which will be perish with Mr S.A.Tan himself... I just don't know what to do anymore... Great knowledge and wisdom that God has granted which I did not use it... I don't know what to do in my life anymore... Just clueless about everything... All I can see is darkness... Wanting to break free from my bondages, but later still return to it...

O Lord, my God...
I'm so unworthy standing at Your throne...
Cover myself with shame and evil deeds...
I'm nothing but dirt collected from the ground...
Unholy and Unjust...

But... Your Love, Your Grace and Your Mercy taken my shame away...
Pour out Your blood and wash over me...
Cleanse me from deep within...
Places where I did not know...
And You still continue to lead me out of my own darkness...

O Lord, my God...
There is no way that I could repay you...

No matter how depressed I could be, how things stressed me up, how directionless I am... I still know that God is always with me... He will not leave me nor forsake me... And He will stand together with me... Even more, He will stand in my place in time of judgement... Though I still fear what will happen in the future, but I'll also learn to surrender it all to God... No point for me to just say something but didn't mean it... Then it'll be NATO(No Action, Talk Only)... I do think that God will still give us time to be tested, time to think and also time to change as well... As long we are in Him and He in us...

When I asked the question that I mention above, straight away I know it in my heart that God is in control of everything... He allow such things to happen for a reason, a reason that He yet to reveal... But all I can say is all because of our own human's desire... Greed of money, possession and power... The most important thing is that God's love, grace and mercy for us is uncountable... He will pardon us from all sin, but this doesn't mean that you can do anything you want... Just go according to God's commandment... =)

Even I could be still clueless about what I wanna do next, but I still want to believe that God will still lead and guide me through... Hopefully I can have the answer soon...

Back to work...

It's a tiring week, last week...

On friday night, had to drive to Bukit Bintang for dinner and also I wanted take my guitar... It was so jammed... That Bentley is closed and I can't take my guitar... Quite frustrated though... Cause for a week++ I cannot practise my guitar... Going to be rusted... *sign*... Then meet up with Joanne's family for dinner... Was quite ok... Nothing much actually... Then we went to pavilion to take a walk... And go home straight after that... Didn't sleep early that night... Was building a small box/house for spikey... So that he can hide in there... After I put it in... He seems more happy with it... Which I'm glad... Then went to ZZzzzzZz... That was about 2 a.m. 15th December...

About 4 hours later, I had to wake up... Brush my teeth, bath, packing some clothes and there I'm off to Joanne's house... And we are going to Ipoh...

The journey to Ipoh was a hell ride... Driven by a *GIRL*... Fast and unstable... cornering without smooth turning which make all of us fall unto 1 side or the other... And tailing the car infront like going lick the car's ass... Seriously reckless and inconsiderate...

In Ipoh, there is nothing to do... So went to jusco with Joanne... At least could relax myself abit... Then we have to go home and get ready for dinner... We have to be back by 5 p.m. and wait for the other relatives to be back to prepare themselves... So that we can all go for dinner... And... We waited until 8p.m. for all of us to get out of the house and head for our dinner place... Seriously I'm bored to death... (Sorry Joanne, but it's the truth which you already know that)

At the dinner place, was ok... Like normal family dinner... Noisy... hahaha... Everything is fine with me, just need to be kuli for some time... which I can't complain much...

After dinner, Joanne's family and I headed back to KL... It was fine at first, when it's a *GUY* who is driving the car... Felt safe for an hour and more... Then we stop a while for toilet break... Been drinking too much of water during the dinner... Later, when we got back into the car... The *GIRL* is going to drive again... So... another 45 minutes of hell ride again... argghhhh...

About 12:30a.m. we reached KL, soon after that we reached Joanne's place... After getting down... Joanne manage to wish me happy birthday... Then I headed back home... The most surprising thing is that when I'm driving back home, I got a sms... And it's from Kuci... hahaha... My first friend to wish me happy birthday than the rest of my very very close friends... Anyway, I always treat this little bro as dearly as I could... All I can do for him is to be that someone to watch over him for a while more... At least still can talk to him in a lot of ways... *Back to topic* So after I reached home... I clean my self, pet on my two dogs and headed to my room to check spikey as well... Feed the little fella with cricket again... hahaha... Joanne is going to kill me soon... Then I headed to my bed... Been so tired...

I woke up at 10a.m. and sad to say, I missed church service... hahaha... I slept until I cannot wake up and my body is too weak as well... But still, I need to go to church for carolling practise with my bro and paul... Went to pick Joanne up and straight to church... Then went to jusco for lunch... At last can eat nando's chicken... hehehe... Then went to get my guitar(This time manage to get it)... Went to pudu to get some fish for my aunt and go back home to get some rest and also some entertainment from spikey... Had dinner with my family (Aunties, Uncles and Cousins)... A place where they are also having a wedding dinner... It's kinda weird as we walk in... It's also a very bad day for me too during my birthday... I had to go to toilet twice to boom kawasaki... After dinner, we all went home and bring spikey to Joanne's place for her sister to see... It was kinda a hell night... Just brought spikey in and Joanne's mom started to shout like nobody's business... It's normal but it's kinda annoying listen the same thing again and again... I always wonder that whether do she has any other things to say beside these?? In a way, I kinda felt that she always look down on me... I'm just a kid who is trying to survive by my own while also supporting Joanne bit by bit... I hope that I'm doing my best... Then I drove off quite pissed off... *sign* Seriously, very sorry to Joanne...

After my birthday 17th December, Joanne didn't manage to celebrate for me during the exact day... So we celebrate a day after... This day, she brought me out... It's kinda surprising though, even I somehow guessed what she is going to do... So we went to Ernest house and Joanne find out that they have moved out(I knew that quite sometimes already)... So we called them and they brought us to their own house... Then when zachery and azelea are getting ready... I asked Joanne where are we going? Then the two little fella shouted: "We are going to the ZOO"... In my mind... I was like *Shocked* but for a while... It's was a fun and enjoying trip though it was very very very tiring... When we first step into the zoo, the two little fella was like "I want to see this, I want to see that"... Joanne and I now start our parentinghood for the day... We manage to take care of them... Carrying the two fella is no easy task... Now I understand how ernest feel... hahaha... Which I salute him for taking care of the both of them... We walked around the whole zoo, sat on the too-too train(taught by zachery and azelea) and eat at marry brown... It was fun going out with them... But in a way, it's not as easy as you think... After sending them back, we went to Joanne's place to eat dinner... Then I went back home with spikey, and brought my mom and sis for dinner as well... Then at last I manage to practise my guitar... And ZZzzzzZZZ...

Thank God that I'm still alive... haha...

End of this week working life...

It's about 5:30pm now... Didn't do anything useful today... Thought will have something to do... But in the end, there are still too many things that needed to be finalised... *sign*... Just another bored day...

Anyway going for dinner later with Joanne's family, and also getting my guitar back... Since they didn't do anything with it, might as well bring it back...

Tomorrow going to ipoh with Joanne's family too, going to be dead soon with Joanne's bro/sis driving... Hopefully it will not be that bad lar...

Now seems really lifeless now...

Fun at last!!!

Last night was a fun night... At last, Joanne and I manage to bath our little fella... We also named it spikey... It's fun though, and also in the same way it's also very scary of not knowing what will happen next... We still don't dare to catch it with our bare hands, as sometimes it's still curl and spike up...

Bathing it was the fun part, as spikey is very grumpy, clumsy and cute at the same time... I still cannot get the vision out of my head... hahaha... It's just too funny to forget about it... After bathing it, we got a dry cloth and try to dry him... So we also use the cloth to catch hold on him too... At first, he was abit grumpy and don't like to be hold... But after a while, he began to relax and just stay where he is... And at times, he still curl and spike up... Still I have to say that we are making a great progress...

The above are a few pictures that I would like to share with you...

Thank God for making Joanne and my wish come true... Hopefully spikey will be more familiar with us soon...